i've begun ("i'm" john, btw) looking at this blog as more than just a way for us to announce our good news (bikes, yay! long distances, yay! big money, yay!). there is a lot of good news, and i love announcing it. in part because it makes me feel superior to you, the reader / our supporter (just kidding). no, seriously, it feels good to have good things to say, to say them, and to invite people into them. our experience of my cancer was like that, too - it always somehow made the good stuff better when a lot of people knew about it.
the thing i'm really understanding about the blog then, is the invitation it can be to share the struggle with us, the not so great stuff. i did not like sharing that part of my cancer experience because i did not like feeling that part of it - i cried a total of three times during treatment. but i could've cried everyday, and sometimes i wish i had. sometimes i wish i'd allowed myself to feel the hurt the way it really felt at the time. i was just so numb, and already felt so vulnerable. it was always really hard to share struggle, is all i'm saying. which is why now it's really empowering to do that.
having said all of that: i'm struggling right now! we are expected, on our own, to do what's called a BRick practice, aka a BR practice, aka a Bike Run practice, aka a practice where we practice riding our bikes and IMMEDIATELY practice running, just like we will in the race. i am exhausted right now. i am totally deflated from this week, and though i know that exercise will recharge me, i am just completely flattened right now.
or, i was flattened.
writing this has begun to begin to inflate me. just enough to get out the door. and go bike - and run! - and call it a day. imagining somebody (anybody) reading this, even if no one ever does, puts a little extra faith in myself, because i know you're (somehow) in it with me, helping me out. so, long story short: thanks for the support.